Mmmmm....College Football Season Is Here!

Well, it took it long enough to get here, but a new College Football season is upon us.  After an ugly off-season (the Penn State fiasco, Bobby Petrino and his "Assistant", the conference realignments, the horrible performance by LSU in the National Championship game, etc.), it's good to finally be back to watching the product on the field and not in the tabloid headlines or court releases.

"You forgot how crazy I am!"

This time of year is always a time of excitement for all teams and their fans: the National Title aspirations of the USC Trojans coming off their sanctions and possible Heisman Trophy for Matt Barkley; the chance of a repeat for Alabama; Texas and Florida trying to bounce back from off-years; the return of everyone's favorite bug-eyed-hopped-up-on-goofballs Terry Bowden back to at Akron...hope springs eternal for everyone, and everyone's post-season chances look bright, even if they don't have a realistic shot at the crystal ball.

As I do every year before the season starts, I make my picks on all of UCLA's games.  This blog started because a friend who is a big UCLA fan suggested I start it and I've always let him know how I think his Bruins will fare.  The glory days of Bob Toledo, Cade McNown and that debacle in Miami seems so long ago...

But it's a new year, with a new coach and a new quarterback, so here we go, after going 9-4 on the Bruins last year.

at Rice - First off, what the hell, Dan Guerrero?  You open the season on the road, on a Thursday night, against a Rice team who has had back-to-back 4-8 seasons, proceeded by a 2-10 season.  How does that happen?  Why don't you have them coming to the Rose Bowl?  Have the Bruins sunk so low that they'll take a bottom-dweller of Conference USA's invitation to come play in the heat of Texas over forcing them to come to Pasadena?  It hurts the head thinking about it.  The Bruins win this one, though it might take a little while to separate themselves from the Owls, as their players wonder, "Why are we here again?"

Nebraska - The Bruins get a week off before the Cornhuskers roll into town and the UCLA fans sell off their tickets, making the Rose Bowl a sea of red.  Nebraska makes the most of the "home field advantage" and beats the "visitors".

Houston - These have been fairly entertaining games the last few years, but with no Case Keenum, the Cougars won't be able to pull it off.  Bruins improve to 2-1.

Oregon State - This is a tough call.  The Beavers struggled mightily last year and even when they're good, they have problems in the early part of the season.  Give a slight edge to UCLA as they move to 3-1.

at Colorado - Not sure the Buffaloes have gotten any better over the past year, but this sets up for UCLA to start giving their fans the false hope that they could make it to the Rose Bowl on New Year's Day.  Bruins move to 4-1 and start crawling up the rankings.

at Cal - This game never makes any sense.  When it looks like Cal should pummel the Bruins, they lose.  When it looks like UCLA should own the Bears, Cal rises up and wins.  A coin-toss again this year, but I'll take Cal at home and UCLA reading too many of their own press clippings and being over-confident, falling to 4-2.

Utah - I thought the Utes would challenge in the South division of the Pac-12 last year.  They let me down.  This year, I think they'll live up to expectations and put a hurting on the Bruins.  UCLA drops to 4-3.

at Arizona State - They played a tight one last year at the Rose Bowl, with the Sun Devils missing a last second field goal giving the Bruins the win.  This year, they take care of business at home and send UCLA to 4-4.

Arizona - The Wildcats absolutely emarassed the Bruins last year in what ended up being a disaster of a season for them.  They've lost their quarterback, but have a new head coach in Rich Rodriguez that might have the offense moving by the time they head to Pasadena.  Think it will take another year for RichRod to have the pieces in place and UCLA exacts some revenge for last year, moving to 5-4.

at Washington State - The Cougars got the coach that I had hoped UCLA would get to finally bring a quarterback to Westwood.  And while they got the coach, they still don't have the players.  Bruins roll to a 6-4 mark.

USC - Fifty to nothing.  To your rival.  An ugly way to close out the regular season last year.  And while it may not be that bad this year, it's going to be ugly again as the Bruins fall to 6-5.

Stanford - The Cardinal aren't going to be the machine they've been the last few years with Andrew Luck at the controls.  They'll still be solid and that's generally enough to beat the Bruins the last few years as they can't get out of their own way.  Look for it to continue as UCLA loses the last two at home to finish 6-6.

A few early picks for Week 1:

South Carolina -6 at Vanderbilt - The Gamecocks were a complete disaster against Auburn last year from playing LSU in the SEC Championship for a trip to the National Title Game.  If Marcus Lattimore is completely healthy and Connor Shaw has progressed under The Head Ball Coach, South Carolina will be tough again and open with an easy win against the Commodores.

At West Virginia -23.5 Marshall - This is considered a rivalry game because they're both from West Virginia, but when one team has never won a game in the series, it doesn't seem like much of a rivalry.  Marshall keeps that perfect record intact and falls again to a Mountaineer team hoping to be in the discussion for the BCS.

To all you college football fans, enjoy the start of the season this Thursday and even though I'm not a fan of the Fighting Irish, I'll be tipping back a cold one at 6am on Saturday as they kick it off against Navy in Ireland.  Welcome back, old friend; it's been a long eight months.

Bacon...Why Are We Trying To Improve Upon Perfection?

Perfection

Bacon.  The word alone sets my mouth to watering.  It engages all of your senses...the smell of it waking you up in the morning, the sound of it cooking in the pan, the sight of that pink and white piece of beautiful meat, the texture as you pick up that a-little-too-hot-but-I-don't-care piece with your fingers, the taste as it's salty flavor, crispy crunch hits your tongue.  Bacon is so good, we wrap bad tasting foods in it to make them edible (water chestnuts, chicken livers).  We wrap good tasting foods in bacon to make them divine (top sirloin, chicken breast).  But it's time to take a step back and go back to letting bacon stand on it's own.  This after my experience with the new Bacon Shake at Jack In The Box.

I can't say I had high hopes for the Bacon Shake, but it intrigued me.  A vanilla shake with a bacon syrup added to it had potential...the shake wouldn't be too sweet and the bacon flavor could blend in with the vanilla.  It could be a revelation in desserts.  So, it was off to Jack In The Box to try one.

The first warning sign should have been the fact that the restaurant had no promotional materials up for their new shake.  After being assured by the cashier that they did have it, I asked if she had tried it.  She said she hadn't and that she was afraid, that it just sounded too weird.  Well, maybe she doesn't love bacon like I do, so I ordered one even after hearing of her fear.

First off, the color seems wrong.  It should be a bacony red/pink, not white.  Secondly, it should have chopped bacon in it or on it.  I can understand that the bacon bits might interfere with drinking it through a straw, but they could have been sprinkled over the top of the whipped cream.  The appearance was not getting high marks, but perhaps the taste of bacon with ice cream would offset that.

It didn't.  As you take that first pull from the straw, as you see the shake coming closer to your lips and finally disappearing into your mouth, you are assaulted by the flavor of liquid smoke.  Your eyes wince and then as it starts to melt a little in your mouth, you detect the almost-but-not-quite bacon flavor.  My initial adjective to describe the taste was "funky".  And not in the good way, but in the way your shoes smell after taking a long hike on a hot day funky.

But maybe I had prepared myself for the worst and now that I had tried it, the next sip would be better, as I now knew what to expect.  Unfortunately, no.  The second sip was just as strange as the first, the infusion of liquid smoke hitting the taste buds first, then followed by a slightly odd bacon flavor.  It still wasn't good and I still wasn't enjoying it.  The third sip was no better and the fourth put an end to the experiment, as I felt drinking any more of this vile concoction would result in an unholy retching.

Not everything

Jack In The Box is obviously not the home of world renowned chefs plying  their trade at the highest level and I'm sure those chefs might be able to make a delicious dessert with bacon.  But bacon doesn't need to be in dessert, just like other delicious meats like baby back ribs, top sirloin or fried chicken need not be in desserts.  Let's allow bacon to stand on it's own...as an excellent companion to waffles or pancakes or eggs; as a key part of an incredible BLT; as a delicious gift wrap around a piece of steak or chicken; as a food item to be savored for it's own merits as the near perfect food that it is.