Bacon...Why Are We Trying To Improve Upon Perfection?

Perfection

Bacon.  The word alone sets my mouth to watering.  It engages all of your senses...the smell of it waking you up in the morning, the sound of it cooking in the pan, the sight of that pink and white piece of beautiful meat, the texture as you pick up that a-little-too-hot-but-I-don't-care piece with your fingers, the taste as it's salty flavor, crispy crunch hits your tongue.  Bacon is so good, we wrap bad tasting foods in it to make them edible (water chestnuts, chicken livers).  We wrap good tasting foods in bacon to make them divine (top sirloin, chicken breast).  But it's time to take a step back and go back to letting bacon stand on it's own.  This after my experience with the new Bacon Shake at Jack In The Box.

I can't say I had high hopes for the Bacon Shake, but it intrigued me.  A vanilla shake with a bacon syrup added to it had potential...the shake wouldn't be too sweet and the bacon flavor could blend in with the vanilla.  It could be a revelation in desserts.  So, it was off to Jack In The Box to try one.

The first warning sign should have been the fact that the restaurant had no promotional materials up for their new shake.  After being assured by the cashier that they did have it, I asked if she had tried it.  She said she hadn't and that she was afraid, that it just sounded too weird.  Well, maybe she doesn't love bacon like I do, so I ordered one even after hearing of her fear.

First off, the color seems wrong.  It should be a bacony red/pink, not white.  Secondly, it should have chopped bacon in it or on it.  I can understand that the bacon bits might interfere with drinking it through a straw, but they could have been sprinkled over the top of the whipped cream.  The appearance was not getting high marks, but perhaps the taste of bacon with ice cream would offset that.

It didn't.  As you take that first pull from the straw, as you see the shake coming closer to your lips and finally disappearing into your mouth, you are assaulted by the flavor of liquid smoke.  Your eyes wince and then as it starts to melt a little in your mouth, you detect the almost-but-not-quite bacon flavor.  My initial adjective to describe the taste was "funky".  And not in the good way, but in the way your shoes smell after taking a long hike on a hot day funky.

But maybe I had prepared myself for the worst and now that I had tried it, the next sip would be better, as I now knew what to expect.  Unfortunately, no.  The second sip was just as strange as the first, the infusion of liquid smoke hitting the taste buds first, then followed by a slightly odd bacon flavor.  It still wasn't good and I still wasn't enjoying it.  The third sip was no better and the fourth put an end to the experiment, as I felt drinking any more of this vile concoction would result in an unholy retching.

Not everything

Jack In The Box is obviously not the home of world renowned chefs plying  their trade at the highest level and I'm sure those chefs might be able to make a delicious dessert with bacon.  But bacon doesn't need to be in dessert, just like other delicious meats like baby back ribs, top sirloin or fried chicken need not be in desserts.  Let's allow bacon to stand on it's own...as an excellent companion to waffles or pancakes or eggs; as a key part of an incredible BLT; as a delicious gift wrap around a piece of steak or chicken; as a food item to be savored for it's own merits as the near perfect food that it is.